The School of Life - 2017-02-08
The fastest route to confidence is to stop being so attached to one’s dignity and seriousness; and plainly admit that one is – of course – an idiot. We all are. For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://goo.gl/MFnpKd Join our mailing list: http://bit.ly/2e0TQNJ Or visit us in person at our London HQ: https://goo.gl/3o59hM eLo3PU FURTHER READING “The topic of confidence is too often neglected by serious people: we spend so much time acquiring technical skills, so little time practising the one virtue that will make those skills effective in the world...” You can read more on this and other topics on our blog TheBookofLife.org at this link: https://goo.gl/35CfLG MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://goo.gl/oBucZc Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself Do you speak a different language to English? Did you know you can submit Subtitles on all of our videos on YouTube? For instructions how to do this click here: https://goo.gl/F8bkUf SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: eLo3PU Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Steve West http://www.lazychief.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife
I'm an idiot to think that everyone cares what I do 🌚
Even if they care, don't care what they think about you.
Amen Father
Father Louis Williams Suga Adams Junior the third My mom used to always tell me “No one thinks about the stupid-embarrassing-thing-you-did-that-keeps-you-up-at-night because they’re too busy thinking about the stupid-embarrassing-thing they did that keeps them up at night.
Infires????!!!!
Now im intrested in what you do.
Embarrassed? Try to think like this:
1. If you are feeling down about something that makes you think “What will he/she/they think of me now?” try to calm yourself down and understand that you cannot know what others are thinking. It is IMPOSSIBLE!!! There is a good chance other people don’t think about you or what you said or did that you find embarrassing AT ALL - they have probably forgotten it already! So cheer up and move on :)
2. If you are in a situation where you are trying to prove yourself and it ends up showing your weakness instead, remember the message of the video: EVERYONE is like this! We are all both strong AND weak at times, and showing your weakness is nothing bad, it is a proof that you are human and not alien (which is a good thing, assuming you don’t want to be an alien of course)!
3. If you made people laugh at you for some reason, don’t feel sad about it. Think about how at least you made them happy! And if you hate these people that laughed at you, you shouldn’t even bother, because you don’t want their approval anyway. And I bet you can find lots of stuff about them to ROFL about!
4. If someone have spoken ill of you or one of your character traits, remember that either the person was right and you can learn from the critique OR the person wasn’t right and in that case, what the hell, there’s nothing to be sad about! You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about something that isn’t true! So stay strong and keep being brave <3
Thanx bernhardina . Much needed.
What do i learn from the critique of being short? Do i grow taller in next life?
Thanks so much. I really like your advice ❤️
Thanks for this comment :)
Thank you! This helps
No one has ever insulted me with such delicacy!
😀
No insult man , it's just who we are
Bro his voice....
So soothing
Can u read me a bedtime story
I prefer Morgan Freeman to read me a bedtime story.
Bro. This channel is my bedtime story.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@Pakistan skateboarding not if you say #nohomo
• h.ulululu yes homo
when you risk nothing , you risk everything
Risk it for the biscuit
-Nietzsche
—Michael Scott
And when you seemingly risk everything, you are actually risking nothing
@RC lol yes if there will be meaning we are not risking it already
Many thanks, I have been researching "how to become self confident person" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Monharlotte Ideological Magic - (search on google )?
It is a great one off guide for discovering how to become confident and live the life you want without the hard work. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my work buddy got cool results with it.
"The real risk is doing nothing"
Is there a transcript of this video? I need to make it into a bible
Idk why i laughed for you 🤣🤣
@69LOLIN There are three little dots below the video, right to the "save" icon, click it and you would see
@Fanrui Hu Your cool. THX! 👍
You can buy the book 'On Confidence' from their online shop. It contains this chapter in it's entirety.
"We don't venture very far from our cocoon" - perfect line.
I didn't notice it until you pointed it out! I did hear it, though, but I guess my brain just ignored it.
Please explain this line
@swagg Gaming He's talking about how we keep ourselves into our comfort zones ( cocoons) and do not bother taking risks .
@Vineet Kansotia Same, my brain ignored it wtf
Hit me soo hard
my whole life I've tried to always avoid failures & be perfect, because I want to be respected. but this video is prefection itself, I'm coming out of the closet now, I'm an idiot 🤣.
I assume we all relate.
Hurray, I was toiling my entire life to preserve my dignity, overcome my faults, build physical strength and strength of character, to conquer my innate shyness only to find, that in the end I’m still a sore looser, idiot and buffoon.
Great video! Thank you.
Here is summary:
1. We hold back from opportunities in which there is any risk of ending up looking ridiculous.
In a concerted bid never to look foolish, we don't venture very far from our cocoon.
2. Everyone, however important and learned they might be, is a fool.
3. Once we learn to see ourselves as already, and by nature, foolish, it doesn't matter to us if we do one more thing that might make us look stupid.
Thank you. I subbed to you.
this was the video equivalent of getting a hug. It was so reassuring. I have never thought of it that way and this makes me so happy.
If anyone is interested in reducing shyness naturally the greatest success that I have ever had was by following the Seans Shy Program (just google it) - I found it the no.1 idea i've seen.
█▬█ █ ▀█▀ 18+ ➨ http://tinyurl.com/y7324nzm
Exactly what I felt. Thanks for putting it into words
And hugs just fucking solve everything right?
😁😁😁😁
IM UGLY AND IM PROUD! IM UGLY AND IM PROUD!
Sauce Man You did nothing to bring about your looks so theres nothing to be proud of. Better to be content
Ademola Owoeye idk if your joking but it’s a spongebob reference
"Is that what he calls it?" - Squidward 🐙
Love's gonna get you killed,
But pride's gonna be the death of you
@Ademola Owoeye guy, no reason am like that. Na for inside SpongeBob dey talk that one
Ok. I just gotta remember, confidence is extremely sexy
@VanishBlox Why people always start talking about weird things in conversations about looks? Like the alpha and cavemen thing?
Anyways, maybe not confidence but charisma is atractive as looks, I find it impossible to a charismatic guy or girl to not attract anyone.
@Arly Kim Lol, genetics and evolution
@Arly Kim Everyone will attract someone, it's just that not always will you feel the same
@Josip you are subscribed to a channel called feet paradise
This is so beautiful, charming, and comforting. I hope everyone who lacks confidence understands the message behind this video and embraces their idiocy.
Olivia Hesson I didn’t get it
This channel completely goes in the opposite direction of the philosophy of other motivational channels!
What do you mean ? (did you mean perhaps haha)
@Hal - It's what the video says at the beginning, the common thing people (and motivational videos) tell you is to just push through challenges like speaking on stage (the example in the beginning) by thinking of what matters to you, maybe encouraging yourself or pumping yourself up. But this video is saying this can lead to other problems and not be a healthy response to the original problem, which is the anxiety. It's better to understand the true nature of the situation and the root of the feeling, which arises from you not wanting to make a mistake because you think that other people in your situation would not make the same mistake. But reality is that they do. Noone is perfect and everyone is a fool. So it makes little sense in being afraid of making mistakes. So say, "it's okay if I make a mistake" instead of "you can do this, you're going to rock it".
So in other words, don't give a shit about what other people think, cos you're not going to be able to change their thoughts, so just go for it in whatever you want to do in life.
Thank u
I am too dumb to understand this vid
When ever i can't sleep, the school of life is my destination
This is spot on. To go a step further, it's important that we also become intimate with the accompanying emotions. When we do experience an embarrassing moment, it's important to be mindful of our emotions at the precise moment it happens. A burning shame will come up. With practice, we learn to see that it is just an emotion. Accepting that we are inherently screw ups AND that shame will arise when we do screw up AND that it's perfectly ok is all we need to rise above our limits.
I have acne and one time i held a knife on my hand thinking about killing myself but im now taking sessions with dermatologist to clear my skin im glad i didnt kill myself
You honestly wanted to kill yourself because of acne? What a mad world. You should take sessions with a psychologist in addition.
Omg😟 Acne is totally normal❤️ you shouldn’t feel any kind of way for having it!!!
Josip Many people with severe acne are suicidal.
Everyone had acne at some point
I'm not who to judge, but killing yourself for having acne? Really? I wish my problems could be eliminated with just putting a lotion.
I think a lack of confidence is usually the result of this groundless notion that we're somehow 'important' individuals, and therefore any kind of behavior that might potentially diminish that importance should automatically be avoided. This results in overthinking, doubting, self-loathing, and so on. The cure: zoom out and assess yourself from a cosmic perspective. To put it bluntly, you don't exactly matter all that much. Relax. We're all worms - as unimportant as it gets.
Abbas Moosvi lol I like this!
@Ernest Davis seriously, with the way Abbas thinks, why don't we just run around in total anarchy?
Abbas Moosvi Yeah, thank you. That makes me SUPPPPER Confident. Laughs Hysterically
Abbas Moosvi How do you know that we are unimportant?
We are a manifestation of the universe which means we are a part of something much greater than ourselves.
Just because we are small on the whole scheme of things doesn't mean that we are unimportant.
We don't know enough about the universe to start deciding whether we are important or not.
This comment made me feel so much better. Thanks random stranger!
There are several ideas worth trying
Work out why you suffer from shyness - the first step to solving a problem is to understand why you have it.
Be comfortable with yourself - this makes it easier when you meet others.
Challenge youself - you will gain confidence by taking action - especially by doing things that stretch your limits.
(I learned these and more tips from sebs shyness tactic site )
This is perhaps the best video you've ever made. I guess I'll be returning back to it from time to time.
Thanks for uploading it!
About to have my university interview wish me luck
How did it go
I take Xanax to be around all you who make me nervous
Lots of us do!
I don't find calling yourself a fool helps at all.
.
Been doing it most my life and ended up a near skilless, middle aged, over weight underachiever. It's only until recently that, as I've been telling myself that I can do things and not think of my negatives, that I even found hope in becoming anything else that what I find myself to be now.
Oracle Wyrd i think you are misinterpreting the message here. the message is to embreace your flaws, and forgive yourself when you fail not to belitle or degrade youreslf.
So I’ve felt both ways about this and I’ll just give thoughts on what changed for me and made me fine with it. I can’t speak for anyone else...
When I start talking down to myself for making a mistake or not doing something quick enough or whatever reason...It’s because I’m frustrated or somehow dissatisfied with myself - and usually a lot.
This isn’t that. First, I think it was my intent that hurt me and my potential. I’ll similarly at times now think myself a doofus - the difference is the intent, I’m usually chuckling to myself if I’m thinking like that now.
I think what this video says to frustrated me is: if I’m a fool for making that common mistake that everyone makes, then everyone is a fool. That was enough for me to realize my self sabotage. I did realize this a few years back (again!! I was hard on myself in my early 30’s) and a lot of the negative intent behind what I thought or said about myself went right out the window.
So while I agree if we’re calling ourselves fools out of frustration or failing in some way, and the intent is negative it’s no good...the video for me is just one out of several possible techniques to change and improve the mindset that leads me to have that negative intent toward myself.
Your grammar/spelling is well above average, so you’ve achieved something for sure!
Main idea = don't feel bad about your mistakes..
As others have pointed out you are doing the exact opposite of what the video suggests. You're being hard on yourself and perhaps have some perfectionism going on. The whole point is being fine with screwing up which allows you to try things outside of your comfort zone.
"Placing ourselves beyond mockery" - Honestly that sounds pretty nice! No but I definitely agree with everything being said here!
03:31
Once we learn to see ourselves as already, and by nature, foolish,
03:34
it really doesn’t matter so much if we do one more thing that might make us look a bit stupid.
"Life is far too important to be taken seriously."
— Oscar Wilde
"Don't worry about life, you're not going to survive it anyway"
-Anonymous
Alexander Schirmer " I'm a goofy goober (rock) we're all goofy goobers(rock)"
-Spongebob Squarepants
loll wow are you 11 years old?
dudesqr XD
Oscar wilde
"At the heart of underconfidence is a skewed picture of how dignified it is normal for a person to be" - says it all.
"Looking like a prick" with the banana walking through the door made me laugh my ass off for some reason.
the most cheering thing I've watched in a very long time!
Wait, you're telling me that I, A BUNDLE OF MESS, AWKWARDNESS AND ANXIETY, am confident by this video's standards?
Thank you!
My social anxiety is so bad that I was even afraid to post this comment. Its crazy that i wanna be a performer as i am painfully shy and introverted. I figured ive already put in 9 years into my music so i might as well just go all the way. Releasing my single soon ahhhrghgghhhh!!!
All the very best!
cyb3rpunk 2077 2 years and still no single... where is it bro
All of the folks who aspired to be performers whom I’ve met have all been shy. Even I was shy.. yet I have a Channel!
Do the artist way....its a great method for "blocked" artist =)
I am in exactly the same boat! - save for that I haven't put as many years as you have into my music. I only started trying to make my own music this year, because I found music that really inspired me. Before, I kept bottling that passion up, saying that there was no way I'd ever achieve it, being an introvert with painful shyness and social anxiety. So I chose something I do enjoy, but not as much: English Literature. Looking at this in a positive light, I can say, Hey! At least taking this degree will enhance my writing skills so I can write better lyrics. As I'm in my final year, I'm trying to refrain from listening to music like I usually do (totally immerse myself in it, sit for hours at the piano teasing out melodies, transcribing my favourite songs). I'm focusing on my degree at the moment. Just one more year of bottling it up. And then I'm gonna let this passion explode out of me, and allow my mind to fixate on music in that way I've never let myself. The reason for this is because I've learnt that choosing the thing you enjoy less, because of a fear of e.g. for me it's performing, will only leave you feeling empty. Unhappy. Never fulfilled. Some people can probably live with this - but I'm glad I'm not this kind of person! I can survive, but I cannot LIVE without fulfilling my passions.
I have started tackling my stage fright by recording non-live performances and putting them on my YouTube channel. It's a small start, but a start.
I wonder what your single is called? I hope you're doing okay and that your music-making is going well :) Thanks for leaving your comment on here. It made me, and many others I see, feel not so alone.
When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.
"They'd only be confirming what we've already accepted in our hearts." ❤️
"We are idiots we always will be" -Erasmus(the school of life)
This is very liberating! Thank you for delivering such a great message. “Everyone’s an idiot.(including myself)”
So basically, what you guys mean to say is: Stop pretending, accept the fact that you're an idiot -- like everyone else.
Erasmus was an awesome guy to think that way in those days!
This helped me a lot :D
I'm going to watch this everyday until it's seared into my brain.
I'm an idiot and I admit that with grace.
Well, allright then....
What an idiot
Not just interesting, quite beautiful!
2:22 I don‘t know why but this makes me laugh so hard
The fear of what other people think of us is one of the biggest barriers to success. But it can be overcome.
Jeffry C. Larson It can be overcome by propper grammar
Or with proper spelling.
Martin Wilson certaindly
this is good!
When he said "looking like a prick" I felt attacked 😂
"Am I Having These Millennial Thoughts & Questions?" on Amazon Bookstore really helped. Our insecure thoughts as humans are largely similar. Short enough to re-read, now keep it on my kindle for a random uplifting laugh.
"Looking like a prick" then a banana just bursts in, like WHEYYYY
Haha, man that got me good.
I liked that a lot! Earlier today I was just thinking that when you acknowledge and accept your weaknesses you just gained a strength.
This one might be my favorite so far, well illustrated, extremely helpful and funny as hell. I love this channel
Not only did I just put out a video on confidence but my entire channel is devoted to making an all around BETTER YOU. Interested? Come to my channel. See ya there!
🍌
ハムスター! agree 100%
I've been researching reducing shyness naturally and found a great resource at Seans Shy Program (google it if you are interested)
I agree, couldn't stop laughing. I just have to re-watch it
now i understand what steve jobs meant when he said "stay hungry, stay 'foolish' "
A girl has no name - 2017-02-10
My father always told me "It's better to be stupid for a minute than to be stupid your whole life". So when there's something you don't know, you shall ask despite of your anxiety, rather than to remain ignorant forever.
Nick Knatterton - 2019-09-09
In an minute, you can do stupid things and ruin your whole life.
Anfernee Puerronelli - 2019-11-10
I have spent months studying reducing shyness at home and discovered a fantastic resource at Seans Shy Program (check it out on google)
omniscient omnipresent - 2019-12-05
It is an Einstein quote
dimz77 dimz77 - 2020-01-08
Very true indeed
Vera Agustin - 2020-01-20
A girl has no name absolutely agree with you