The School of Life - 2016-11-07
Most of our mistakes come down to one crucial error: our failure to understand ourselves well enough. That’s why we need to learn the art of introspection. If you like our films, take a look at our shop (we ship worldwide): https://goo.gl/kLu7HJ Join our exclusive mailing list: http://bit.ly/2e0TQNJ Or visit us in person at our London HQ https://goo.gl/L4g0f6 FURTHER READING “One of the hardest things to describe or to be properly aware of is what it feels like to be inside our own minds: the second-by-second flow of images, words, feelings and sounds inside our heads that philosophers call our ‘consciousness’…” You can read more on this and other topics on our blog TheBookofLife.org at this link: https://goo.gl/UqYE5h MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://goo.gl/yp0T7N Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself Do you speak a different language to English? Did you know you can submit Subtitles on all of our videos on YouTube? For instructions how to do this click here: https://goo.gl/fRVjZQ SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Tom Kemp http://www.tomkkemp.biz/ #TheSchoolOfLife
Lots of people don't want to go within, because they think it's too hard. It too scary. But everything...EVERYTHING we seek from external sources? We can find in ourselves. It seems so silly now that we grow up being so concerned about loving others, yet no one really teaches you to love yourself. It's the most freeing thing I've ever done.
risainternet beautifully said!
We have answers.. 4402.
How did you get there?..
Yes agreed. It is something a lot of people are chastised for ..even for just being contemplative or talking about themselves trying to understand their thorns. People know they don't want to hear the bellyaching but they don't know what to tell someone to do for themselves. I know I don't know what to tell people. I say things like meditate or write a journal or sit with your emotions and see what comes up... But some people just roar and roar and the thorn never comes out because they're usually roaring about someone or something else that has triggered them. I don't know. I am really tired of listening to it right now because my words seem wanted instead of any elf reflection they just come back to me with the same issues again and again and I must be codependent to keep listening. When I feel like its drained me wound me up tired me out I still get some reward for taking the calls. But I've turned my notifications off for some peace and quiet to have time for my own self reflection and just for me. To listen to myself. I can't listen to anyone else's story of sadness and anxiety any more but I feel selfish for wanting to enjoy my peace. I have my own anxieties as well but I just enjoy that space to be peaceful and yet every day I allow myself to get dragged into empathising with and advising or talking over someone else's anxiety. I lament even getting paid but if I was I'd still want to take a sabbatical. I am sure talking about it all is helpful but without the time to absorb what's been said it doesn't change anything. Just getting into my own space like a cat who knows the dog is out for a walk and won't be washing its tail like crqzy ya know. I'm just gonna get comfy and not let the dramas come in for a few weeks for me. Sigh. Sorry had to get that off my own chest there. Lol! Just peace and healing needs sometimes an undisturbable boundary. Ya know?
Truth. https://youtu.be/48T_nDZLf6I
This channel is always an emotional roller coaster...
Up and Atom just like life.
Physics and psychology 💙💚
It's not the channel... ;)
In my humble opinion we need two things for this:
To find the right tools to look inside.
To find the right words to describe what we see.
1. The best tool I know is Alain de Botton's philosophical meditation. They have a video about it on this channel. Don't miss it! You must then print the questions below the video and go through them every day if you can. They are extremely helpful.
One tragic thing about almost all of us, is that we really don't know how to think. It is so difficult to think " clearly" about yourself. What we call "thinking" is often just " brooding". And we have all sorts of mechanisms to delude ourselves too. So it is great to have a clear question in front of you, to which you must find an answer without changing the subject!
2. Wittgenstein says:
" All I know is what I have words for".
In order to have more words at hand to describe what we are suffering from, we need to read a lot of good books, poems, watch good movies, listen to beautiful songs, and listen to the people around us very well. After all, our stories may be very different, but we all suffer more less because of the same things.
3. Thinking clearly is extremely important, but of course there are cases that can't be solved by thinking. Painful memories that you can't change, family issues that will never be solved , chronic diseases with no cure etc. Meditation is extremely helpful for all this. If it is impossible to move the thrown, then you can change the way you perceive it. You can just accept it and let it be, instead of fighting against it one life long. Here are two books about meditation that are wonderful:
Happiness, Matthieu Ricard
Mindfulness , Mark Williams.
4. Psychotherapy must be extremely helpful too. I never had the chance to see a shrink , but if I won the lottery I would move to Buenos Aires for a couple of years to be Gabriel Rolon's patient. Friends who speak Spanish: all if his books are excellent. Very heavy stuff though... I mean the stories are so sad.
It is incredible to see how somebody else can tell you " the proper version of your life's story". We will never know everything about ourselves. But it is also very scary to see how many prejudices, misconceptions and misunderstandings we have about ourselves...
If you want to "change the narrative" about your own story, and don't have the chance to see a shrink, you may want to read the book:
" Redirect, Changing the Stories We Live By " by the psychologist Timothy Wilson.
5. There is an excellent TED Talk by Shaka Senghor about this. He was a prisoner who discovered the value of introspection during solitary confinement, when he read Socrates'
" an un-examined life is not worth living". It is a very moving and encouraging speech!
Thank you for this wonderful lesson I will never forget. The animation is amazing too!
ou , love TED talks .. will check out the one you suggested now
Here are two statements from ACIM that can motivate self reflection:
1) I am never upset for the reason I think.
2) Beware of the temptation to see yourself as unfairly treated.
Great comment ! I’m just leaving a comment to trick YT algorithm to promote this thread..
Your response was helpful, also! Thank you for so much thought-out information. Looking forward to looking up the things you talked about.
I think i spend too much time thinking about all the problems in the world and not enough time thinking about myself, but at least we are all here so thats a positive move right there!
"The creature wasn't murderous, it was in agony."
Great quote that encapsulates the concept of human suffering and evil.
Honesty is probably the most important part of introspection, though. You can only discover the source of your pain, if you admit to yourself that that specific thing hurts you.
This kind of ''story" telling is better to understand. Thank you.
Varun G yep, the combination of the narrative and art keeps our attention glued to the video
I know. The guys voice is so soothing.
this should be taught in schools.
Amar Bhujbal most of the videos in this channel should.
Thats why this channel is called School of LIfe. And I think I would when I fininsh college
-
D
It is, we call it psychology class. And counseling in school
I haven't encountered many things as enlightening and empowering as this channel.. it is absolute gold. Eternally grateful to its creators.
This animation was especially well suited for the narration. There is no other way to describe this video better than simply saying it was 'pleasant', the word seems to capture the video's essence wonderfully
I bloody love this channel.
My question is where does someone get the profound knowledge to write a script for something like this.
Many of the ancient philosophers used to travel to the forest alone, and they would stay there for days or maybe weeks, they would just be thinking and thinking, watchin the others actions and doing a lot of reflection about life. I mean, they didn't have TV and Internet back then, so what they would be doing is working, talking to each other, and be thinking and sharing ideas, you see, my point here is that these ideas are born from reflection and a lot of introspection, most of the biggest artists and writers were lonely people, and it says so in a video of this channel called ''Why we are fated to be lonely'', ''the history of art is the memory of those who never found someone to talk to in the vicinity...''. At least this is my point of view, I'm a lonely person and due to that I've had the oportunity to get to know myself better, why do I do/like/hate this and why that, and so on.
Would be cool if you'd make a video about ways of introspection and detecting mental fallacies
@MrGuySnailz nice
My approach is reading books/articles about bias or more generally speaking psychology/philosophy/self help/spiritual, or watching videos like this and then thinking about how it applies to me. Try to be open minded and honest. Then i add in some mindfulness meditation, journaling, rinse and repeat.
That and if i get an opportunity to have conversations on the subject i take them. i learn a lot about what i know about a subject by trying to communicate it to other people.
it's not sure fire. i still have pains that i don't know the source of and haven't learned to accept. that's part of life though. my method so far has lead me to a lot of acceptance, patience, and forgiveness. so far so good, but there are always new challenges when being introspective.
What do you guys do?
brilliantly put. ive been following a similar method to yours as of recently.
I've been spending more time with myself, without resorting to watching movies or being distrated by the Internet. I just sat with myself for a whole day and it was so boring! But since then I feel it's been good, and feel less compelled to reach for some distraction when I have some free time.
Sandra M Yeah I spend days alone playing with myself too , it's a good time .
Most of the points made really hit the thorn on the head.
Ouch.
You described my life so accurately. But i don't know how to find the thorn. Wish you could have another video on this subject.
Ｍ. ＭＡＨＡＪＡＮ Try keeping a dream journal or a diary in general. It helps
Sometimes the thorn is to deep to find and extract.
have you looked at "Philosophical Meditation" by the school of life? There are two: one narrated by a woman, the other by Alain de Botton himself. They are both worth watching, and helped me find some of my thorns..cheers!
If you can learn to be able to accept any possiblity and use it as a learning lesson for yourself l, then you will find the "thorn" acceptance and introspection go hand and hand
I'm mad at my friend for his mood swings and inappropriate, passive aggressive behavior but this video encourages me to view him in a different manner. I want so badly to forgive, and it's so hard.
I think it is very important, during the introspection process, to forgive ourselves and others. During the course of our lives, especially if one suffers from low self-esteem, one tends to blame oneself if an event goes wrong. School of Life, how does one forgive oneself? And not only that, but how does one acquire back the zest of life?
Never forgive yourself. Stop making yourself a victim own your mistakes and learn from them, change what you need to and move on. You can forgive others and other can forgive you, but forgiving yourself is pointless you will learn nothing and probably come to the wrong conclusion. It's just self-pity and mental masturbation.
I believe self-pity is a very needed coping mechanism with self-hate, and fortunately the SoL has covered this in another video.
In this difficult life we all exist in, what makes the world Beautiful? Compassion, being kind to others and oneself is a value we all need to appreciate and practise. No matter what mistakes, guilt, regret or despair you have, learn to pity yourself, only then can one break the vicious cycle of self hatred, and open up the potential for gaining "zest in life".
Also, I guess that self criticism has its benefits as well, but only when one is emotionally strong enough to accept one's mistakes and learn from it. So self criticism is needed for our improvement as well. As a balance, we need to have self pity to help ourselves love the part of ourselves that hate ourselves (this little complication here I find beautiful too).
Patrick Outhier, best answer man, very thoughtful!
I'm going through this right now actually. I've been thinking Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I feel I have to constantly apologize to others for my existence? Why do I quit almost everything I start? Why do I have the courage to start new, and exciting things, but don't have the confidence, or the worth to follow through? I actually brought this up to my dad and siblings last night while were talking. I've been digging into my past, and seeing where it started, and obviously it starts out mostly from our caretakers, and then stems onto us. For me it's not enough to think I forgive this person for being hard on me, thus making me hard on myself. I'm digging deep into the root of the problem, and making the actions required to truly forgive. Getting my mind, and my heart on the same page of forgiveness, which takes a lot more time for the heart to get there in my opinion. It takes a lot of work. For me, it's pinpointing who made me feel unworthy of existence, and why? Pinpointing the sufferings they are dealing with, how they've dealt with them, why they act the way they do, and who made them suffer for them to have acted that way towards me?
I've recently become aware of the issues i'm dealing with, now I'm understanding where it came from(caretakers, and family). Next, I plan on taking actions required to forgive the ones that unintentionally deeply rooted these thought patterns/feelings into me, especially since I have a strained relationship with one of them. I plan on writing both my caretakers cards/letters about how they made me feel growing up, the good and the bad, bringing up their troubled childhoods, and things that were stemmed onto them for them to act the way they do, so they know i'm not blaming them, just bringing awareness, and forgiveness to them, and myself. Maybe' i'll feel better just by writing them, and won't need to mail them. Part of me thinks it may not be a good idea, maybe it will strain a relationship, but maybe it will strengthen them, or maybe it will change them. All I know is that it's going to help me truly forgive, quit blaming, and fully accept that it is now my responsibility to acknowledge, accept, and to try and work with these issues.
I always think back to the part of Good Will Hunting(1 of my fav movies) where Robin Williams is talking to Matt Damon in the counseling room, and while they are discussing Matt Damons issues he tells him "It's not your fault", and he keeps repeating it to him until it sinks in, and he breaks down crying. We all have to realize that none of our thoughts/actions are necessarily "our fault", but we do need to work with them to truly prosper. By doing the introspective work, bring them out into the open, and working with them brings true acceptance, forgiveness, and healing. At least I'm hoping....
There is a SoL video called How to overcome bad inner voices
Really, the animators think he wrapped the THORN in his blanket, not the lion's paw?
Wow! Good catch, I totally missed that.
Animators were obviously tripping balls when they did this entire video
Maybe this has a deeper meaning? Seems like very odd mistake if it is. Maybe it is because the thorn is nothing physical but a hurt within our mind, so first thing to do is to find and wrape it solftly, to then slowly work it out....
This is beautiful. I'm crying right now, really needed to hear this. Thank you.
What if we saw someone else's thorn, and try to pull it out but they devour you instead? What do?
gustinex There is nothing to be done
From what I have read in one book .. the most hard work someone cans do, is to admit ones illness and find the necessary resources to heal it. That’s why is far more easier blame somebody else for one’s failures. I think that LIFE ( through experiences) gives everyone the chance to look inside us searching for that specific paw that is bothering us. No one but oneself have the decision to heal ourselves. Experiences in life through failures an failures will eventually force this person look for his own source of misfortune and in his own way, he’ll start asking for help. I think that too much help will not help anyone find their inner strength in trying to restore their lives.
I never pull out
gustinex i dont pull out
@Tayyy 2k Pathetic
O’ wad great gift,
the giftie did gie:
to see ourselves,
as others see.
—Robert Burns
My thorn is staying up late and watching YouTube....
Thats a symptom not, a cause/thorn.
yeah i guess you're right
After self discovery we must press on to self creation.
I didn't know how much I needed this until after seeing it.
Great video. Watched this one with my kids. We'll be (hopefully) implementing the idea of asking "Where's the thorn?" when we're upset. Thanks!
Very smart decision !!
I've grown in the heart of the Atlas mountains in Morocco where stands the highest peak of them all, Mount Toubkal, as a kid i remember hearing the lion fable from our elders but without the roman emperor part.
Pleasure to listen to as well as watch. The art style on these videos is inspiring.
Yes the animation and the characters were so differently and nicely portrayed. They seemed to convey their meaning in their form. :-)
3:25 that thonr is a pain in the ass...
Thank you, School Of Life! You're teaching life lessons that parents were suppose to teach their kids.
Which we should in turn teach ours :)
@Farrow Agreed! :)))
I love the animations in this video. the tongue high five! xD
"Introspection is a devouring monster. You have to feed it with much material, much experience, many people, many places, many loves, many creations, and then it ceases feeding on you."
"There were silences in my head. I could abandon myself completely to the pleasure of multiple relationships, to the beauty of the day, to the joys of the day. It was as if a cancer in me had ceased gnawing me. The cancer of introspection." Anais Nin
I've been "addicted" to the same videogame for almost three years now, spent hundreds of dollars only to avoid my sense of underachievement and failure to adapt to the new and harsh reality of my country, Syria.
I've changed so much in the last few years, from a confident outgoing person to melancholic introvert cut off from the world outside. I refused every opportunity to leave the country, cocooned in my room holding tight to decade-old memories of people and places long gone. I'm always distant confused and edgy. What scares me most isn't death, of which there's plenty around, but failing to live life.
This video.. Clearly moved something in me, but what's the point when I can't find an answer within me.
Dear Matthias, I would have just liked and moved on, but I had to reach out to you, one way or another. We all long to hold on to past memories, and 'your home' of the past, as it is no longer there. The war being waged in Syria, is one of the worst, and what is hurtful are the people who are currently embroiled in it. I am also in between countries, but all I can do is reach out, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to send me an email (bhavleen87@gmail.com). I am sorry for the pain you are undergoing and the imminent threat you and your family is in, at this very moment.
this is really quite sad.
maybe you will recover.
i hope you do, but we never know. There is nothing i can do for you except offer pity.
i know nothing about you, except what i have just red. I do hope the conflict stops, but it probably won't.
i'm sure you will eventually reach the decision of whether to save up money and leave to a unfamiliar, but less dangerous place, or stay where you are.
go for a walk every once a while to think things through, it works for me. maybe talk to a close friend about it, or go to a therapist.
maybe you blame yourself for the dissapearence of those places or people, which gets you stuck in the past...
I can't pretend to know how it feels. But I've found serving others always brings happiness. Try to bring happiness and help to those around you who are going through the same, even if just through verbal support. That will bring them happiness, and you happiness in return. I'm sure you do that already. Sorry that's all I could think of.
The trick to "living" life is not to get caught up on the definition of what living life means. Someone could be healthy and feel like they are "living" their life by collecting stamps, alone in a log cabin in Alaska. Someone could be disabled from the waist down, wheelchair stricken and unable to do the conventional "living" things that people think those who are alive do, jump cliffs, live on the edge etc. But What he does love is helping others, despite his condition he feels overwhelmingly content with just helping others once it doesn't negatively affect him. Are they wrong? Are their feelings of feeling "alive" false? Of course not. Its Subjective just like music and books are to people.
My point is: If you enjoy something, anything, and you feel you are happy and healthy both physically/socially, you are "living life". The fact that you are breathing to this day to tell this story is evidence of that fact. You are an amazingly complex creature, one that has defied all odds and spurted into existence. Your life is yours. No one else's. You own yourself and you can do what you please with yourself. Once your healthy as you try to be, you have the luxury of living how you like.
I Just wanted to say, i can't begin to imagine the situation you are in. No one, certainly not me can blame you for looking for an escape to the reality you are faced with. However given the fact that you searched for this video on introspection i hope you will find enlightenment soon.
Best wishes.
I know it's been 2 years since you posted this but I really hope you're better, Matthias.
This is amazing! So relevant that it's scary.
This is better than religion.
not really, because religion always comes from within, and this video is better then who taught us religion. I am strongly believe any religion wasn't the problem, BUT the people are whether who teach it to us or the people :)
a sermon with enlightened concepts around it. Well I haven't been to church in years but it seems like, actually, the school of life is the teaching without all the religious concepts around it.
tile late Lol Im so trigged right now I going to get an erection.
as if religion had a part in the videos content
literally anything is better than religion. highly refined sugar is better than religion
Great video. This also relates to Carl Jungs work on the Unconscious Mind and the Shadow, which I recommend people look into as it is invaluable information.
This has been one of my favorite videos. I've been having issues with depression lately, and I feel this may help me. Thank you.
Can you guys make a video about the introspective personality. At least about people with heightened introspective personality.
TheElyzium no such thing as an introspective/introverted personality.
Check out 'Enneagram type 4'.
+TheElyzium
There is an inborn nature in us called HSP ( highly sensitive people ), we are the 20% of the whole population. You may find information in any HSP homepage as well as YouTube tutorials about the connection between highly sensibility and introspection.
This channel is like all the teachings my parents wished they could instill in me, but either didn't have to time or the wisdom to do so. Thank you.
In the end, it was the stranger that saw the thorn.
This might mean that in addition to introspection, we should be more open to how those around diagnose our pain. Strangers to Ourselves is a great book that provides some insight on the topic of introspection.
Wow, this puts things into perspective
I come to those videos and this Channel for an Inner peace 😊
this channal is amazing. cheers :)
And the simple solution to this is... drumroll ...meditation.
I got emotional after this watching this clip, this channel is really changing my life for the best.
such a nice art. the channel has aged very well and i am glad to watch ever since its early steps
This was a really good one!
You should already have known this! You're Obi Wan!
Omg thank you so much I had a dream very similar to this years ago, now I know what my inner self was trying to tell me. Thank you sooo much blessed be.
4:50 the wall with string connectors reminds me of "A Beutiful Mind"
School of life man, they always have the good shit ;-)
5:08
An accurate depiction of modern day feminists.
Mustafa Kulle - 2016-11-07
I strongly recommend writing down your thoughts and keep a record of them. It's a useful catharsis. It's also a good way of understanding yourself better, piece by piece. Hope this helps.
Rabby - 2019-09-19
My catharsis is thinking about killing people that get on my nerves.
memsahibproductions - 2019-09-29
The morning pages, Julia Cameron
xHigx - 2019-10-04
yeah, i keep some sort of diary of ideias on me cellphone quite usefull
Eddie Mattison - 2020-02-24
Everything I read says to do this, but most of it seems like it would be meaningless ramble?.... Help me see how to do this, or how it works. Thanks!
Samantha Taylor - 2020-03-07
Mustafa Kulle thank you. You convince me to make serious efforts.